


Vanilla

by FaeriexQueen



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alpha/Omega, Anal Fingering, Canon Elements, Childhood Trauma, Grinding, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, NSFW, Omega Verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:27:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23379109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaeriexQueen/pseuds/FaeriexQueen
Summary: Kanda had always struggled with keeping control. Link didn’t make it any easier. (Omegaverse/Exorcist AU with canon elements.)
Relationships: Kanda Yuu/Howard Link
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	Vanilla

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Maxxim](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maxxim/gifts).



> Sequel to “Things That Never Happened."

_“Just relax.”  
  
Cold metal scraped against his skin, the table flat and smooth. It pressed against his back like a sheet of ice: rigid and uncomfortable, flattened against his bruised and darkened shoulder blades.  
  
Escape. He wanted to _escape _-  
  
Someone moved – an omega in a white coat. She was pretty and smelled nice, like strawberries and buttercream. Her voice was lovely, too. It was soothing and gentle, her words spilling out like a lullaby that threatened to lull him to sleep.  
  
“You just need to relax a bit. It won’t take much longer.”  
  
There was a promise of salvation in her words – or at least, he almost thought there was. However, the sensation of needles pricked at his skin, as a quiet sense of dread filled him.   
  
_‘No,’ _he thought._ ‘No, you’re lying-‘ _  
  
He tried to move, but couldn’t. Leather bindings clasped at his wrists, the locks so tight that they pinched his skin. It hurt and it stung, but he didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of letting them know. He didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of seeing how_ weak _he was.  
  
“Just stay still…”  
  
That voice – that _lull _. It called to him, beckoning him to calm down and to give in. To relax and do_ nothing _…  
  
Something in him snapped.  
  
He tried to pull away, the bindings keeping him in place. In his peripheral, he caught sight of several spell strips glowing, their magic securing the straps as he struggled. “Don’t fucking touch me!”  
  
His attempts to break free were in vain, his skinny, eleven-year-old body too weak. Despite this, his agitation festered, his actions turning more desperate.   
  
The woman sighed, the sound tired and melodious. She placed a hand onto his shoulder to steady him, her touch so gentle that it was unsettling. “It’d be so much easier if you didn’t fight back – that’s the reason we have to do this,” she explained. “Just listen to my voice, and it’ll be alright soon…”  
  
For a fleeting second, a sense of comfort befell him. The sweet scent of the woman tickled his nose, and his aggression momentarily abated.  
  
No, _no _– he knew the woman was lying. He knew she was twisting the truth. She was trying to manipulate him, to sedate him…  
  
“Fucking _let me go _!” he snarled. “Let me_ go _-!”  
  
Something sharp and metallic glinted: a syringe. However, he didn’t get a chance to react before the woman moved, the needle piercing his shoulder. A sharp _sting _seared throughout his body, the sensation so cold that it burned.  
  
He hissed, teeth gritted as the sting festered, his blood turning to ice. He opened his mouth to shout – to scream, to curse. No words came out, his voice dying in his throat swiftly.  
  
The woman pulled out the syringe. “It’s so easy for you alphas to lose control,” she murmured. “Especially when you’re accommodators…”  
  
Again, he opened his mouth – again, nothing came out. His lungs were strained, and his eyelids heavy. He couldn’t stay awake, and he was so _tired _…  
  
_ ‘I hate them…’ _  
  
Everything faded to black._  
  
  


* * *

  
  
It was dark and hard to breathe.  
  
Kanda gasped. He sat up, heart pounding in his chest like a fist banging against metal bars. Sweat clung to his skin, sticky and cold as the air caressed his flesh. His hand gripped at the sheets, the fabric stiff and thin – they were so threadbare, he should have been freezing. Was he? Kanda couldn’t tell. He was too tense, his thoughts delirious as they raced through his mind.  
  
The clock ticked on the wall and his gaze darted to it. In the darkness of the room, the hands read 3:58AM.  
  
Heavily, Kanda exhaled. His heart still hammered, though the adrenaline pumping in his veins began to slow. Gradually, his coherency returned to him, slowly scanning his surroundings as he registered where he was. The room was modest and bare: dark stone walls, a tall window with a crack in the glass. A single mirror nearby, and a simple closet space.  
  
Right. His room. Kanda was in his room.  
  
Kanda fell back onto the pillow, his dark locks sprawling out beneath him. He brought his arms up as he crossed them over his face, surrounding himself in darkness as though they would somehow make the images stop. The dreams. The memories.  
  
For a fraction of a second, he debated going back to sleep – of closing his eyes and refusing to wake up. He debated slipping into that darkness and drifting to some far off place…  
  
Defeat trickled into his chest before he could stop it. Roughly, he tossed the sheets off his body as he got up, ignoring the icy sensation as his bare feet touched the stone floor. He always got up early, anyways. There was no point in wishing for sleep when it wouldn’t come. If it did, it wouldn’t be restful.  
  
He slipped out of his nightwear, changing into some dark trousers to train in. He grabbed a black, sleeveless shirt and threw it on.  
  
As he did this, Kanda caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror – and the dark, inky _om_ marking on the left part of his chest.  
  
Kanda ignored it. He snatched a hair tie, throwing his hair into a loose ponytail before he grabbed his sword, steps quiet as he slipped out of his bedroom. Because of how early it was, no one would be awake. Even the CROWs and guards who protected the Black Order’s headquarters would be minimally stationed, with the bulk of security placed near the main gates that led into the outside world.  
  
Kanda didn’t mind. He didn’t care to see anyone.  
  
The corridors were empty, their vastness enhanced by the eerie silence that echoed in the dim halls. Instead of the main bulbs that hung ahead, smaller lights were illuminated along the walls, placed in brass-rimmed glass that looked like lanterns. The light was softer, signifying that it was an hour when most should have been asleep, preparing for the day ahead.  
  
Kanda ignored the lights, and walked on. He had been used to the darkness for a long time now, and the lack of lighting didn’t bother him. Not really.  
  
He made his way down a smaller corridor – one that led to a narrow stairwell. As Kanda descended it, he came to a heavy wooden door that looked barely used. The wood was chipped and metal ribbing cut across the center horizontally, the locks rusted and old.  
  
Kanda opened the door, the early morning air caressing his skin like an icy shroud. He allowed the door to shut behind him with a soft bang, his eyes taking only seconds to adjust to the inky darkness. Trees stretched out before him, the landscape encompassing the Order’s headquarters a maze-like forest. It was thick and dizzying, the mere sight of such a wood likely overwhelming to anyone who might have laid eyes on it for the first time. But it stretched on, almost endlessly – as if it went on for miles, and miles…  
  
It didn’t. It only went on for a few, and after that point, there was a wall. A tall, stone wall that surrounded what was considered the property of the Black Order.  
  
Kanda knew this well. He had learned about the wall years ago when he was a child.  
  
Gripping tightly at the hilt of his sword, Kanda entered into the forest.  
  
The air was quiet. A few crickets could be heard, and the occasional whisper of a breeze. In the distance, an owl hooted, its call a gossamer weight against Kanda’s ears.  
  
Already, Kanda’s shoulders relaxed. The outside air was quiet, but nothing compared to the deathly silence that often filled the halls of headquarters.  
  
He wandered a ways into the forest, not stopping until he was a fair distance away from headquarters, the large cathedral fading away so that only the spires were visible. Kanda wished he could go far enough that he wouldn’t see them.  
  
Eventually, he reached his destination: a small clearing where it wasn’t as densely packed with trees. Walking across it, Kanda placed his sword against one of the trees before sitting down, his back pressing against the bark. He crossed his legs, forcing his muscles to relax as much as he could while placing his hands on his knees, eyes closing as he exhaled.  
  
Kanda came to this spot often to train. To meditate. It was preferable to any of the training facilities inside headquarters, where he was often too easily interrupted or distracted. Outside, he could be alone. He could trick himself into an illusion of solitude, concealed from the Order and the rest of the world.  
  
Illusion. It was only ever an illusion.  
  
He took a breath, reminding himself to do so. Already, his thoughts were beginning to spiral, but Kanda reminded himself to focus. He needed to clear his mind, and erase any distractions. _‘One…’_  
  
Silently, he counted, measuring each breath and each count. His thoughts cleared slowly, his muscles further relaxing. Soon, Kanda could only focus on the quiet of the forest around him – which faded into the distance, like a far-off dream. Somehow, it was comforting.  
  
Breathe. Count. _Focus_.  
  
An indistinguishable amount of time passed. Kanda never moved, every muscle in his body still as though he were made of stone.  
  
 _Snap._  
  
Like a small pebble disrupting a glass-still pond, Kanda’s ease was shattered. Immediately, his eyes opened, alert and sharp. His hand was on the hilt of his sword as he stood, his expression hard as he sought the source of disruption.  
  
A fraction of a second passed, and his gaze landed on a small rabbit darting off.  
  
Kanda exhaled, somewhat annoyed by the disruption. However, he quickly refocused. Even if he couldn’t go back to meditating, he could still train.  
  
He remained outside in the clearing as he trained further. He practiced with his sword, working on the precision of his movements and his attacks. Again, the clearing was an ideal location; there was no one to get in the way or potentially hurt, so Kanda could move as freely as he wished. He didn’t have to worry about any restrictions.  
  
Eventually, the sky began to lighten. The dark, inky indigo melted away, shifting into shades of lilac and gold and blue…  
  
Kanda slowed to his stop. He had worked up a slight sweat, though he wasn’t worn out. Attention shifting, he glanced toward the spires of the cathedral, the structure strikingly bleak against the vibrancy of the sky.   
  
Taking his sword, Kanda left the clearing. He could only linger for so long, anyways.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
When Kanda arrived at the dining hall, the room was packed.  
  
It wasn’t too crowded. For that, he was grateful; Kanda didn’t like to deal with too many people. There was too much noise and too many smells. Smaller groups were much less overwhelming to deal with. It was still early, too – most of the people in the dining hall were finders, likely getting a meal in before they went off on assignments. A few accommodators were present as well, with one Kanda recognized.  
  
Quickly, Kanda got his breakfast – just some plain soba and tea. He took the tray, ignoring the cook, Jeryy, as he said something, turning sharply to leave.   
  
Finding a spot, Kanda sat down at one of the long, narrow tables that filled the dining hall – just across from the one accommodator he had spied early.  
  
As soon as he sat down, Marie looked up. His eyes were pale, the pupils faded to near nothing – but his attention focused on Kanda all the same, a slight pause filling the air.  
  
Kanda glanced up, before he poked at his soba with some chopsticks. “It’s just me, Marie.”  
  
Marie nodded. “Thought so,” he said. “You’re the only other accommodator I’d know who’d be training before now.”  
  
Kanda scoffed. He stabbed into his soba, ignoring the implications of Marie’s words – he knew he’d need to shower after breakfast.  
  
Marie didn’t say anything, taking a sip of his water. He was an alpha, just as Kanda was, though much calmer and level-headed in temperament. If anything, that was likely why he and Kanda got along as well as they did – Marie wasn’t as intense as some other alphas, and their personalities tended to balance one another out.  
  
That, and Marie was one of the few people Kanda trusted. Which wasn’t many.  
  
Their breakfast was mostly in silence, the quiet more comfortable than not. Marie wasn’t someone who made small talk, which was yet another reason Kanda appreciated his presence. It was nice not to be expected to force an annoying conversation, especially when there wasn’t much to talk about.  
  
Or so, Kanda thought.  
  
“You okay?”  
  
Kanda paused, glancing over at Marie. A small frown tugged at his lips, his gaze suspicious. Quietly, he went back to eating. “Why?”  
  
Marie shrugged. “Just wondering. You’ve seemed off the last few days.”  
  
Kanda’s frown deepened. His brow pinched together as his eyes flickered upward, attention sharp. “I’m fine. Just hate this damned place.”  
  
Despite his previous concern, Marie chuckled softly. “Glad that hasn’t changed, then…”  
  
“Tch.”   
  
Marie didn’t say anything more. Kanda doubted he would push further, but remained quiet, not wanting to test his luck. Besides, things were fine. He would just finish his breakfast, and leave-  
  
Kanda stilled.  
  
He caught the scent before he saw him. The smell was sweet like vanilla, and a hint of something like lemon. It was warm and fresh and annoyingly recognizable – Kanda knew that scent immediately.  
  
His attention flashed toward the doors, where two individuals had walked in. One, Kanda recognized as an omega – a rare kind by the name of Allen Walker who happened to be an _accommodator_ of all things. He was oddly pale with white hair, face disfigured with a strange marking and his left arm equally marred. Kanda didn’t care for him really – he was just a beansprout as far as he was concerned.  
  
The second person was who swiftly took Kanda’s attention though – that one CROW and omega he had been avoiding for days now. _‘Link.’_  
  
Before he could stop himself, Kanda tensed. Fortunately, Link hadn’t yet noticed him – he was too preoccupied nannying the beansprout. Kanda had noticed that Link had been accompanying him a lot lately, though as to why, Kanda had not bothered to find out. Likely to keep an eye on him, since he was newer to the Order.  
  
Marie’s attention returned to Kanda, expression pensive. Although he was unable to see Kanda, he hadn’t missed the slight shift in the scent Kanda now gave off: charred and aggravated.   
  
“What’s wrong?” Marie asked.  
  
Kanda didn’t answer. He tried to focus, attempting to ignore that unpleasant _pinch_ in his chest – one that was followed by something vacant and hollow.   
  
Taking his tray, Kanda stood abruptly. “I’m leaving.”  
  
Before Marie could ask any more questions, Kanda left swiftly. He took his tray back up to one of the drop off windows, his soba only half-eaten and still warm. Not waiting, Kanda turned to leave-  
  
“Hey, Kanda.”  
  
Kanda stilled, muscles rigid. If he had the sense, he would have ignored the greeting and carried on. However, something in Kanda froze, his attention stubbornly landing on who had spoken.  
  
The beansprout was there, having just gone up to the other window to order his breakfast. For whatever reason, he had thought it necessary to speak to Kanda though – why, Kanda had no idea. They didn’t even talk, and the few interactions they had shared had been nothing short of unpleasant. It was irritating that the beansprout would even _try_ to talk to Kanda, and then…  
  
Link was there.  
  
Kanda hadn’t wanted to look at him. He hadn’t wanted to look at him, and he most certainly hadn’t wanted to make _eye contact_. But it was too late, and suddenly Kanda was staring into Link’s russet brown eyes, the CROW’s expression caught off guard as his composure cracked. Time seemed to freeze, and Kanda couldn’t move.  
  
 _They were close. They were so close, and he wasn’t thinking clearly. He wasn’t_ thinking _…  
  
He felt so good against him. Too good, to where it was damn near sinful. Fuck, why did he have to feel so _good _…?_  
  
 _Just a little more. Just this once…  
  
_ The memory slammed into Kanda before he could try to repress it, the sensation putting him on edge. Suddenly, Kanda could only think about leaving, and hurriedly tore his gaze away from Link as he roughly brushed by the beansprout.  
  
Allen frowned, as he glared at Kanda. “Hey-“  
  
“Stay out of my way,” Kanda snapped, not sparing a glance back. If he did, he knew he’d risk making eye contact with Link again.  
  
Within seconds, Kanda was already out of the dining hall. A few more finders were entering, but he moved, ignoring them as he started down the hallway. A shower. That’s right – Kanda needed to shower. Maybe that would clear his head. Maybe that would help him focus.  
  
“Kanda!”  
  
Link’s voice melted into his ears, but Kanda ignored it. No. No, he would _not_ talk to Link. He would not, no matter what the damned CROW tried to say.  
  
“Kanda, _wait_ -!”  
  
A hand gripped Kanda’s shoulder, and it took every ounce of willpower in Kanda’s being not to slam Link against the wall right then and there. He turned sharply – so much that he caught sight of Link staggering a bit.   
  
Link caught himself. He looked frazzled, with his bangs slightly mussed in contrast to his otherwise well-kept appearance. Realizing his hand was still on Kanda’s shoulder, he retracted it, face flushing slightly as he scowled.  
  
Kanda glared. “What the hell do you want?”  
  
Link’s scowl deepened. “I want to know how long you’re going to keep acting like _this_ for,” he clipped. “Really, if you’re going to be so immature at least be _subtle_.”  
  
Kanda sneered softly, as he crossed his arms. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  
  
Link’s flush deepened, more so out of irritation than embarrassment. “You know perfectly _well_ what I’m talking about,” he bit back before he glanced around, making sure that no one was in the hallway who could hear. He looked back at Kanda, voice lowered. “Or have you honestly forgotten about what happened?”  
  
Immediately, Kanda tensed. He quickly scanned the area to make sure no one was around as well, then looked back at Link coldly. “I already told you – _nothing_ happened.”  
  
Link snorted quietly. “Then perhaps you should _act like it_. All you’re doing is drawing attention!”  
  
Kanda gnashed his teeth together, jaw tight as his arms remained crossed. He didn’t want to deal with this. He didn’t _have_ to deal with this. Glaring, Kanda tore his gaze from Link as he turned to leave. If Link didn’t want to draw attention, then talking in the hallway certainly wouldn’t help.  
  
For whatever reason, this didn’t register to Link. He only appeared more annoyed by Kanda’s attempt to leave, and in a knee-jerk reaction grabbed Kanda’s wrist. “Kanda-“  
  
Link’s words drowned out, as soon as Kanda registered the touch.  
  
 _His wrist. A woman gripped his wrist, as she held him still. “It’s alright,” she promised. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a spell strip in her other hand. “It’ll only hurt for a few minutes…”_  
  
Kanda’s heart froze, the memory slipping into his mind like a blade of ice.   
  
Quickly, Kanda pulled back. The motion was sharp and defensive, as Kanda kept his wrist close to his chest protectively. In his arm, there was the faintest tremor – one that stemmed from the marrow of his bones and trickled through his blood.  
  
Breathe. Kanda had to remember to breathe.  
  
His hand balled into a fist, muscles tight as he exhaled. For a second, he thought he was somewhere else: a cold room with a metal bed, with no windows and only artificial lighting.  
  
Kanda suddenly remembered where he was – and that Link was with him.  
  
Gaze flashing upward, Kanda once more locked eyes with Link. The CROW was looking at him in confusion, and for a moment Kanda thought he saw concern. However, he didn’t dare to look any longer and broke eye contact, hurrying off as quickly as he could.  
  
This time, Link didn’t try to stop him.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
_Cold…it was always so cold there…  
  
It was so cold, and he just wanted it to _stop _…  
  
  
_

* * *

  
  
Kanda woke up abruptly. He jolted back into consciousness as though he had been yanked by a metal hook, the clasp digging into his flesh like a claw. His eyes opened wide, startled and disoriented. He didn’t remember what had happened, or where he was, but it was _dark-_  
  
A beat passed and he remembered. His room. He was in his room.  
  
Still lying back on the bed, Kanda ran his hands over his face. He released a thick, weighty breath, the air cool as it brushed against his exposed skin. _‘Damn…’_  
  
He pulled his hands down, his gaze turning to the clock on the wall. When he looked, he saw it was half-past midnight.  
  
A frustrated sigh escaped his lips. Kanda had retired about two hours ago, but despite this, he now felt annoyingly awake. He was restless and alert – sleep hardly seemed like a possibility anymore. At least, for a while.   
  
“Fuck,” he grumbled. Throwing the thin, stiff sheets off of his body he got out of bed. His attention shifted to the window, where he could see the gibbous moon hanging high in the sky.  
  
Kanda tore his gaze away, and left his bedroom.  
  
As expected, the halls were dark and quiet. The wing Kanda’s room was in was the same as many of the other exorcists, and even some of the finders. Their doors were all shut, with not a sound coming from any of them; Kanda suspected anyone inside was either asleep, if they weren’t out for an assignment elsewhere. Sleep was never something to be wasted.  
  
Kanda didn’t really pay much attention to where he was walking at first. He was too focused on burning whatever restless energy clung to his bones in hopes that he’d be able to go back to his room and get some solid sleep in. He wasn’t even sure why he was so agitated – he had purposely done extra training throughout the day to abate whatever it was that tormented him.   
  
He exhaled. Meditation. Perhaps more meditation would help.  
  
Swiftly, Kanda changed his course of direction. There were a few training rooms, and more than likely they’d be empty at this time.  
  
He stopped, just as he heard the sound of a door opening. Immediately, Kanda tensed, his senses alert – someone was still awake?   
  
He inwardly cursed, but didn’t bother to turn around. He wasn’t sure who would be awake at this time – maybe a scientist, if anything, and they never bothered Kanda. He could ignore them and carry on.  
  
The scent of vanilla tickled his nose, and Kanda’s thoughts drew to a halt.  
  
He saw Link just as he rounded the corner, leaving one of the offices with a folder. He looked tired and worn, his tight plait a bit looser than normal and his expression weary as he rubbed his temple.   
  
Kanda wanted to turn around, but something in him refused to budge.  
  
The delay cost him. Link turned, surprise flickering in his eyes as he suddenly noticed Kanda in the hall. His brow knitted together in confusion, but the weariness in his feature caused his expression to appear softer than normal. “Kanda?” he asked. “What are you doing up?”  
  
The question seemed to aid Kanda, allowing him to snap back to reality. He broke eye contact, still tense. Of all people to run into, he hadn’t expected to run into Link – not at this hour.   
  
“Could ask you the same thing,” Kanda replied, his answer somewhat stiff.  
  
Link exhaled. They hadn’t interacted for a solid minute, and already, he appeared exasperated. “I was finishing a report. It needed to be done before tomorrow.”  
  
“Hn,” Kanda grunted, crossing his arms.   
  
“Are you alright?”  
  
Kanda turned back to Link, a slight frown on his face. When he didn’t say anything, Link sighed.  
  
“You’ve been more agitated than normal,” Link pointed out. “Even when you’re avoiding me, I can tell…”  
  
The accusation pricked at Kanda’s nerves. His gaze sharpened, as he glared at Link. “I don’t see why it’s any of your business. Don’t you have enough shit to deal with already?”  
  
Link flushed a bit, huffing quietly. “Must you _always_ be this difficult?” he questioned. “I asked a question – you’re the one drawing it out.”  
  
“I’m not drawing _anything_ out,” Kanda hissed, eyes flashing heatedly. “Why do you keep fucking asking? It’s none of your damn business!”  
  
Something in Link’s gaze snapped, whether it was due to Kanda’s tone or his phrasing. However, his next words flew from his lips quickly – so much, that they came like a whip and slapped Kanda across the face.   
  
“It’s my business considering the fact that this started _after_ we fucked!”  
  
Kanda went silent, completely dumbfounded by the statement. It was honestly surreal to hear, first because it was the first time either of them had admitted aloud to what had happened – and secondly, because Kanda had never heard Link say _fuck_.  
  
Somehow, the latter of the two was the more shell-shocking.  
  
Quickly, Kanda composed himself. His gaze swiftly scanned the halls, but they were fortunately alone – however, even that couldn’t quell Kanda’s unease. The Order wasn’t a place to keep secrets – not unless the Order was who permitted it.  
  
Jaw clenched, Kanda, grabbed Link’s wrist. He pulled him out of the hall, back into the office that Link had previously been in.  
  
Link gapped. “What are you-“  
  
He cut off, as Kanda yanked him inside, shutting the door behind them. The office was dark, the lamp having been turned off when Link left earlier. It was a more modestly sized space, with a desk that had papers neatly stacked and all writing utensils in place. A window facing east was open, the curtains partially drawn so that a sliver of the night sky was visible.  
  
Once inside, Kanda looked back at Link. In the darkness, he was just able to make out his features. “If you’re going to run your mouth, fucking do it in here. Don’t do it in the _hallway._ ”  
  
Link’s face heated, the darkness concealing the rosiness of his cheeks. “I’m surprised you’d even offer – I expected you to walk away as you always do.”  
  
Kanda sneered. He was thoroughly aggravated, and frankly, wasn’t even sure why he _had_ bothered to pull Link into the office. It had been a knee-jerk reaction, if anything. “You didn’t sound like you’d shut up…”  
  
“Can you blame me?” Link asked. “Honestly, it would have been nice to have at least _addressed_ it. What if I had been too close to a heat and gotten pregnant?”  
  
As soon as the words were dropped, Kanda felt the color drain from his face. He looked back at Link, balking as his throat ran dry.  
  
Noticing the pause, Link stammered. “Heavens – _I’m not_!”  
  
Kanda exhaled, equally just as flustered if not more. Especially with the sudden route the conversation had taken.  
  
Sensing the discomfort, Link spoke, words stiff. “I’m not going to waste your time. I can’t force you to explain when you clearly don’t want to,” he said, before pausing. His attention shifted back to Kanda, the hardness in his gaze momentarily diminishing. “I was only worried.”  
  
Kanda stiffened. The shift in Link’s tone had been notable – a breath of something a bit too soft and too genuine. Kanda’s nerves twitched at the sound, a conflicting array of sensations prickling at his insides. He felt such an impulse to remain rigid and defensive – to ignore that lull, and that annoying _empathetic_ ability omegas had. That annoying ability to manipulate and persuade…  
  
Kanda didn’t want to be manipulated. Not again.  
  
It was painful. More painful that he cared to admit – Kanda hated vulnerability. He hated weaknesses. And the fact that he had ever been such – weak and vulnerable – was a truth that he wanted nothing more than to bury down like some ugly skeleton that needed to be put to rest.  
  
Perhaps that was why Kanda felt so agitated around Link. Link made him feel vulnerable.  
  
Another small, invisible knife cut into Kanda and he averted his gaze. The room was silent, with neither him nor Link having uttered another word. They only remained there, alone and in the darkness, the faint scent of vanilla and musk blending together slowly.  
  
That smell. That terribly sweet smell…  
  
Kanda should have left. He knew that he should have. The last time he had been alone with Link things had gotten out of hand. Things had gotten out of control, and god, Kanda _knew_ it could happen again. He knew it could happen because deep down he felt that tug – that stupidly aggravating, _primal_ tug…  
  
He had to remember. He had to remember not to lose control.   
  
_“It’s so easy for you alphas to lose control…”  
  
_ Windowless rooms. Metal beds. Sharp needles. Kanda couldn’t afford to forget. He couldn’t afford to forget what had happened.  
  
The silence stretched on, the air still and soundless. Link’s gaze never strayed from Kanda, his expression still pinched with concern. As the seconds passed, his frown deepened and something appeared to register in his eyes.  
  
Link took a step aside, as he looked toward the door. “If you don’t want to talk, at least rest,” he spoke. “You seem like you need it.”  
  
Kanda didn’t look at Link. His fist balled, a breath hitching on his lips. “Why do you care?”  
  
Link hesitated. He appeared somewhat caught off guard by the question, perplexed and uncertain. His mouth opened as though he meant to respond, but no sound came out, whatever response he had been mustering lodging itself into his throat.  
  
Kanda still didn’t make eye contact. “I don’t get it. Why are you even still here…”  
  
Again, Link didn’t respond. The silence loomed between them, heavy as it stretched on. Neither of them moved, and the darkness of the office hung heavily like a shroud.  
  
“Is it that hard to think someone would care?”  
  
Kanda remained quiet, body still as the words slipped into his ears. They were like a ribbon of velvet, smooth and soft, and his breath hitched in his throat at the mere sound of Link’s voice. _‘Someone…’_  
  
By chance, Kanda’s gaze shifted. Before he could stop himself, his dark blue eyes locked with russet brown irises, everything else drawing to a halt. In his chest, Kanda felt his heart beat rapidly, Link’s scent once more grazing across his senses. They were just so _close_.  
  
A beat passed, and one of them moved – maybe Link, or maybe Kanda. He couldn’t tell. But before Kanda could think to anchor himself his hand was wrapped around Link’s wrist, his arm tugging forward-  
  
Their lips met, bodies pressing close. It was as though a dam had broken, a surge of energy breaking through. Suddenly, all Kanda could think about was tasting Link’s lips, his tongue in his mouth as his hand clasped onto Link’s wrist, holding him so tightly as though he were afraid he would pull away.  
  
Link did no such thing. There was no resistance or denial; he gave into the kiss quickly, so much that Kanda wondered if he were imagining it. But Link was still there, his hand reaching up as he took the back of Kanda’s ponytail, his fingers clasping at his scalp gently.  
  
Kanda shivered. He wanted Link to pull harder, the sensation addictive. A low growl spilled from his throat as he deepened the kiss, his body pressing harder against Link’s.  
  
Link staggered, falling back against the wall. He grunted as he broke away from Kanda, gasping for air.   
  
Kanda caught himself, the palm of his hand slapping against the wall to keep himself from falling onto Link. He leaned forward, lungs straining for air as well. His face remained downcast as several long, dark strands of hair fell from his ponytail, his nose nearly brushing against Link’s shoulder. Suddenly, Kanda was very aware of just how close he was to his neck, the taste of Link’s scent torturously close.  
  
“Shit…” Kanda mumbled, one hand still pressed onto the wall and the other clasping at Link’s wrist. His control was nearly gone and shattered to pieces. It didn’t matter how hard he tried to fight it. Kanda was losing.  
  
He felt a shift of movement, and Kanda stiffened. He expected Link to push him away – he _should_ have pushed him away. Kanda even should have pushed off and stalked out of that room before anything else happened. He should have _stopped_ -  
  
Gently, Link’s cheek brushed against the side of Kanda’s face. He tenderly nuzzled his nose into Kanda’s hair, the touch too soothing for words. Immediately, any agitation and anxiety Kanda felt was diminished, leaving a pit of yearning deep in his chest.  
  
That night. There had been that night where they had gotten close like this, and it had felt so _good_ …  
  
Kanda’s grip tightened on Link’s wrist, and he dared to move, his mouth close to the crook of Link’s neck. Lips skittering across the surface, Kanda allowed himself to linger, soaking in the warmth of the closeness. He had never been warm like that before.  
  
Again, Link moved. The motion was small though, with him only shifting his face. His lips brushing against Kanda’s hair, he lowered his head, his breath tickling against Kanda’s ear.  
  
Kanda felt a nip at his lobe.  
  
He shuddered, a flare of heat once more soaring throughout him. God, that was what had gotten him last time, too – that damn _nip_. Kanda’s rationale was already close to gone, the fire in him too ignited. He moved, lips finding Link’s as he kissed him heatedly, tongue slipping between teeth as he grabbed at Link’s thigh.  
  
Link moaned, the sound muffled by the kiss. It was music to Kanda’s ears, intoxicating and hypnotic. He ran his hand up and down the back of Link’s thigh, fingers digging into the fabric. Somewhat roughly, he pulled his leg up, tugging Link so his leg was hitched around Kanda’s hip and their chests pressed against one another firmly.  
  
Link clasped at Kanda’s back, his nails digging into the fabric of his shirt. Somewhat brazenly, he rolled his hips forward, the action both surprising and pleasuring to Kanda. He didn’t miss the stiffness in Link’s trousers, either; Kanda himself was already getting hard, his length throbbing with want.  
  
Breaking away from the kiss, Kanda’s hand fingered the band of Link’s trousers. “I want to take them off…”  
  
Link shivered, and exhaled shakily. “You should,” he said, the words bolder than what Kanda had expected. “I’m not stopping you…”  
  
Kanda lifted his gaze, his attention landing on Link’s face. Even in the darkness, he could tell Link’s face was flushed; his gaze was slightly averted, an almost bashful look in his eyes. The sight was alluring, and…  
  
Kanda wanted him.  
  
Leaning his head forward, Kanda gently nudged his nose against Link’s cheek. The action was strangely soft – softer than what Kanda thought he was capable of. He was always so aggressive and rough – Kanda had always struggled with that.  
  
He pulled back, just enough so that he could undo the front of Link’s trousers. His fingers moved quickly, as he shucked down the waistband, Kanda’s eyes locking onto the bulge that had formed beneath Link’s underwear.   
  
Desire tugging at his insides, Kanda slipped his palm down as he cupped Link’s crotch, slipping his fingers lower and under Link. Already, there was a slight dampness below, and Link’s grip tightened, a shuddered breath escaping his lips.  
  
Kanda ran his palm back and forth, feeling Link for a moment. He wanted to savor that touch, that one moment where they were there and there was no one else. Fuck rules. Fuck control. Kanda was so _sick_ of it.  
  
Kanda shifted his face, his cheek brushing against Link’s. Their faces were both a bit flushed, skin warm, but he didn’t pay attention to that. His fingers were already at work, tugging the band of Link’s underwear so that his length was released.  
  
Link caught Kanda’s hand, causing him to stop. Kanda looked back at him, perplexed as a slight frown tugged at his lips.  
  
Link exhaled. His gaze was clouded, but he appeared as though he were attempting to hold onto some coherency. “Not all the way,” he managed, somewhat awkwardly. “We…can’t risk it again like last time-“  
  
His reservations clicked. Of course. Of course they couldn’t risk _that_.  
  
Kanda released a breath, but didn’t argue. “Fine.”  
  
With their agreement made, Kanda continued. His touch brushed against Link’s cock, fingers skittering across the shaft. Some discharge leaked from the head, his thumb rubbing over it before he gripped at the shaft, sliding his grip down as he squeezed the base.  
  
Link gritted his teeth, and pushed his face into Kanda’s neck. “Hnn…”  
  
Kanda ran his hand up and down a few times, until he finally released his grip. Moving his hand under Link, he soon found his hole, slick leaking out. Taking his fingers, Kanda pressed down, his fingers smearing the lubricant.  
  
Link gasped, his legs threatening to buckle. Kanda kept him steady though, as he kept Link pinned against the wall.   
  
Taking his soiled hand, Kanda ran it over Link’s cock. He then undid the front of his own trousers, pulling down his underwear enough so that his length was released, cock hard and stiff. Kanda positioned himself, his hips aligned with Link’s, and he pressed close, his slick-coated hand grasping at their shafts.  
  
Kanda pumped, a surge of pleasure swelling in his gut. He pressed closer, grabbing Link’s thigh as he pulled him close. As he did this, he brought his mouth to Link’s neck, his tongue sliding out beneath his jaw.  
  
Link shuddered, his fingers finding the back of Kanda’s scalp. Tightly, he grasped at the ponytail, tugging at Kanda’s silky, dark locks.  
  
Kanda growled at the contact, his body pushing Link against the wall. His hand sliding under his thigh, he grabbed at Link’s ass, just before his fingers pressed into his entrance.  
  
Link moaned, further burrowing his face into the crook of Kanda’s neck. He rolled his hips forward, his hand sliding down Kanda’s back. Somewhat cautiously, he fingered the hem of his shirt before slipping his hand under, his fingers brushing against Kanda’s skin.  
  
The touch sent a slight shiver throughout Kanda. He pumped their cocks harder, discharge trickling out from the slit of their erections, while he kept his other hand near Link’s entrance, his finger sliding into Link’s hole, slick leaking out.  
  
“Ah- _ahh_ ,” Link mewled, legs quivering as he clasped onto Kanda for support.  
  
Kanda didn’t stop. He felt Link’s murmurs trickle into his ears like droplets of fresh rain, the scent of vanilla tantalizing to his senses. Steadily, Kanda increased his speed, his hand squeezing their shafts together as he rocked against Link.  
  
They continued like that, rocking against one another and clinging to each other against the wall. Their breaths were low and heavy, their lungs straining for air as they fucked in the darkness. Soon, Kanda felt that swell building in his groin, his legs shaking as he threatened to reach his climax. He forced himself to hold back, his jaw tight; he wanted to go a bit longer, a bit _further_ …  
  
Link cried out. He climaxed, shaking as he released, cum splattering in between them. Kanda continued to finger Link though, keeping him close as he mewled and moaned, the sounds intoxicating to hear. Kanda could have practically drowned in them, and he pumped harder, his hips rocking faster as he tried to get every bit of friction he could.  
  
He followed Link, releasing shortly after. Grunting, he came, hot seed spilling out. Some got onto his clothing, the milky substance staining it, but Kanda didn’t care – it’d wash out later.  
  
Finishing, Kanda fell against Link, still pressed against the wall. He slid his fingers out of Link’s backside, his hand pressing against the wall for support.   
  
The office was quiet, save for the thick, weighty breaths that escaped them. Link rested his face against Kanda’s head, his touch gentle as he moved his hand to Kanda’s shoulder. “We…we should clean up…” he started. “Before someone…”  
  
He trailed off, but Kanda understood. Link wanted to clean up the mess they had made before someone found them. It was a perfectly rational thing to do, and Kanda should have agreed. He should have been cleaning up then, moving on and acting as though this were one more thing that had never happened.  
  
The thought of going back to his bedroom alone made something in his chest crack.  
  
Fist balling against the wall, Kanda leaned against Link. His face remained close to his neck, the scent of vanilla comforting. “Just a few minutes,” Kanda pleaded, voice barely audible. “Just…just a few more minutes…”  
  
There was a strange fragility to those words – one that was simultaneously foreign and familiar even to Kanda himself. However, he couldn’t fight it anymore. He couldn’t fight that ache he felt. That ache that was born from years of being confined, and _isolated_ …  
  
Link wavered. His gaze flickered to Kanda, expression soft, and tentatively he brought his hand to the back of Kanda’s head.   
  
“Okay,” Link agreed. “A few more minutes…”  
  
The promise lingered in his words, and there was that lull – that comforting lull that so many omegas were known for. That comforting lull that Kanda had always been so wary of.  
  
For once, Kanda didn’t fight it.

**Author's Note:**

> And here is the sequel for Maxxim - I hope you enjoyed it! ;3
> 
> These two were never going to be able to keep away from each other. Kanda could try all he wanted, but it was a lost cause. XD I was glad to write this fic from his perspective though. He’s a lot more complicated than he comes off as, and really struggles with processing how he feels about Link (especially when his history with CROWs/omegas isn’t...that great. >.<)
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
